Something to try at home

• Notice what your dog is doing.  
• Get into the habit of observing yourself as you notice your dog. What were you doing? What were you thinking and feeling?
• Maybe your dog is doing something that makes you feel vulnerable. You might notice feelings of irritation or anger. Maybe you feel guilty, embarrassed or ashamed. Pay attention to what is going on for you at that moment.
• If the experience is making you feel really bad you might find difficulty acknowledging it to yourself. When this happens to me I can find myself trying to push the discomfort away. I will come up with reasons and excuses like “I will do more training”, “He’s a difficult breed”, “It’s because she got scared” or even “Other people need to control their dogs”! Any of those might be true, but I began to notice that I was avoiding things in me that were trying to surface. This might happen to you too (Some examples from my own experience might help to illustrate this, for example Why Does Your Dog Hump You ).
• Try to stay curious with how you are reacting.
• Notice any physical sensations in you body. Do you have butterflies in your stomach? A lump in your throat? I think some people are really in tune with what is going on in their body, but for me that doesn’t come naturally.
• Of course it’s not always possible to do all this in the moment, depending on what is going on. You might have to reflect on what happened at a later time.
• Any thoughts that come up, memories, ideas, judgements, anything at all to get a better sense of what was going on in are helpful to notice.
• I have found journaling these events, recording as much as possible about the experience can be helpful. Use the opportunities to gather information and see what unfolds over time.
• Lastly, and most importantly, try not to judge what comes up. Be kind to yourself.